Summer Movie Preview: August 2010

July finally delivered for the movie business. Why? One word: Inception.

Inception blew away minds and the competition with a box office gross of $227mm and counting. I expect this movie to continue to bring in the repeat business and people go back again and again to try and make sense of the movie.

But Inception wasn't the only hit of the month. 'Despicable Me' pulled in Kung Fu Panda money, continuing the hot streak of animated movies. 'The Last Airbender' pulled in over $100mm despite the horrible reviews. And 'Salt' showed why nobody does action better than Angelina Jolie.

Throw in decent showings from 'Predators' and 'Dinner For Schmucks' and really only 'The Sorecerer's Apprentice' and ' Cats and Dogs 2' failed were busts.

So that leaves us only one more month for summer movies. Let's take a look at what August has in store:

The Other Guys: Qualifies for #8

Starring: Will Ferrell, Mark Wahlberg, Samuel L. Jackson, Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, and Eva Mendes.

Directed by: Adam McKay

My prediction for comedy hit of the summer. This is the type of movie people want to see Will Ferrell in. And sometimes you can just tell from a trailer that the movie will be good. That’s what I thought last year when I saw the trailer for “The Hangover”. And you know what…the trailers for “The Other Guys” looks hilarious and the action looks fast and furious. Mark Wahlberg is on a mini-comedy tear (see “Date Night”). Samuel L. Jackson and The Rock are perfect as the super-cops. And Eva Mendes is her sexy self. Throw in the fact that McKay and Ferrell are most successful when they are together (see “Anchorman” and “Talladega Nights”) and prepare for the comedy-action movie that “Cop Out” was supposed to be.

Pros: A perfect cast. Good timing since “Cop Out” disappointed.

Cons: All the funny parts are already in the trailer?


Step Up 3D:

Starring: A bunch of people who can dance better than I can.

Directed by: Some Asian guy.

This movie has gimmick written all over it. Dancing. In 3D. The third part of the franchise. In 3D. And you know what. I think it’ll work. Dancing is all the rage nowadays (See America’s Best Dance Crew and Dancing with the Stars), plus the first two movies were bonafide hits (the first one made $65mm, the second made $58mm). Based on the early trailer, the movie looks like it’ll have some fancy 3D tricks (outfits that light up, dancing in water to get the splash effect, and people getting thrown in your face). Consider me there (on DVD of course, since nobody will actually watch this with me). Final gross will be $70mm, becoming the top grossing film in this franchise.

Pros: The third dimension. Slick dance moves.

Cons: Does dancing actually need to be shown in 3D? How much more dance drama can they milk out of this franchise?


Eat, Pray, Love: Qualifies for #9

Starring: Julia Roberts, James Franco, Billy Crudup, and Javier Bardem.

Directed by Ryan Murphy (of Nip/Tuck and Glee fame)

Based on the popular book (which my girlfriend recommends), this could be the movie that reminds everyone why Julia Roberts is America’s Sweetheart. The problem is Julia’s been away for so long (it’s been awhile since Erin Brockovich and Notting Hill came out) and she isn’t as bankable as she once was. Reviews will be important, since fans of the book and the older demographics care about reviews before deciding whether it is worth it to pay for the movie. But in the end, I think Julia can’t be faulted for taking time off to have a family – and that doesn’t mean she lost the ability to open up a movie. And Ryan Murphy is on some kind of hot streak. I think the movie does very well thanks to strong legs carrying it into the fall season. Final gross of $130mm.

Pros: Julia being Julia.

Cons: Duplicity didn’t exactly light the box office world on fire.


Expendables:

Starring: Sylvester Stallone, Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Eric Roberts, Mickey Rourke, Randy Couture, Steve Austin, with cameos from Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Directed by: Sylvester Stallone

The comparisons have been made a million times, but you know what…there is no other way to put it. This movie is for the guys. All the man’s man out there. This is our Sex and the City. Look at that cast. All it’s missing is Jean Claude Van Damme and Steven Seagal (and rumor is that Sly contacted both, but they couldn’t make it work). I think the cameos by Bruce and Arnold will bring in the crowds, but the scene will ultimately disappoint (it’ll just be talking and joking. Not like they fight, shoot, or blow anything up together). To be honest, I’m most excited to see Dolph Lundgren. And I’m glad Mickey Rourke decided to be in the movie despite all the other movies he was offered – especially when he did it to pay back Stallone for remembering him when the times were tough. That’s respect and appreciation. Love it. Oh, yea…the movie. It’ll probably be a decent action flick, but worth it for the once in a lifetime cast. Final gross will be $70mm.

Pros: The cast – who cares if it happened 15 years too late.

Cons: Michael Dudikoff was too busy. And where the “F” is Chuck Norris?


Scott Pilgram vs. the World: Qualifies for #4

Starring: Michael Cera, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Chris Evans, Anna Kendrick, and Brandon Routh.

Directed by: Edgar Wright

When I first heard about this movie, I thought it had a chance to be really cool. I’m a big fan of Cera’s and think he’s on a whole nother level of comedic genius. But then Youth in Revolt came out and I’m not convinced he can play the lead role and carry a movie by himself – and his act is getting kind of repetitive. So this movie will go a long ways in determining what to make of Cera going forward. After seeing the trailer, the movie can only go one of two ways. It’ll either be crazy awesome or the old 1960’s batman TV show sound effects will render the movie cheesy beyond repair. I’m hoping it’s the former and looking forward to seeing Cera kick some ass and get the girl. But I think the final gross will disappoint with only $40mm.

Pros: Edgar Wright of “Shaun of the Dead” and “Hot Fuzz” fame.

Cons: Where is Simon Pegg?


The Lottery Ticket:

Starring: Bow Wow, Brandon T. Jackson, Mike Epps, Ice Cube, Terry Crews, and Bill Bellamy.
Here’s hoping that this movie is more “Barbershop” than “Next Day Air”. I’m not sold on Bow Wow and Brandon T. Jackson in the main roles, since both could border on becoming annoying characters. But the supporting cast looks like it could bring the funny. Final gross will be $30mm before a successful DVD run (for the cannabis crowd out there).

Pros: Epps, Bellamy, and Cube in hilarious supporting roles.

Cons: Not from Tyler Perry.


Nanny McPhee Returns: Qualifies for #3, #11

Starring: Emma Thompson, Ralph Fiennes, Ewan McGregor, and Maggie Gyllenhaal

This movie is like Mary Poppins for our generation. Considering the first one made a solid $47mm with decent reviews, I can see this sequel doing the same. Throw in a relatively modest budget and I expect this family friendly film to make a solid $45mm. btw, I have no idea what this movie is about. Hence, the short paragraph.

Pros: Built in fan base. And there is magic.

Cons: I’m not sure people were screaming for a sequel.


Takers: Qualifies for #4

Starring: Zoe Saldana, Idris Elba, Paul Walker, Hayden Christensen, Matt Dillon, Chris Brown, and T.I.

I think I saw this movie recently. Yep, action movie. Involving guns. Hot black chick from Avatar. British guy with the accent from “The Wire”. I thought it was called “The Losers”. Wait, where is the guy who played Johnny Storm in Fantastic Four? Why is Anakin Skywalker here? Oh, it’s a different movie. Never mind.

Pros: Some eye candy for both genders.

Cons: The movie was pushed back – never a good sign. Also, the Losers didn’t light up the box office.


Piranha 3D: Qualifies for #3, #5

Starring: Elizabeth Shue and Ving Rhames.

Now this is the future of 3D. Used as a gimmick for horror movies. Because what else would make you jump in your seat than some blood and a blunt object being throw at your face. “My Bloody Valentine” used the extra dimension pretty well, and I expect Piranha to do the same. Throw in a silly spring break storyline and you got a potential cash cow (I smell sequel). It’ll close out the summer on a high note. Final gross will be $80mm.

Pros: 3D. Half Naked People. Spring Break…and Piranha’s.

Cons: Remember Snakes on a Plane?


So there goes the final month of the summer. Look for the summer movie recap coming after Labor Day weekend. Until then, see you in line for Inception...for the fourth time this summer.

Why I Belong In the Movie Business

The buzz and hype following "Inception", which for the most part has lived up the expectations, has cast aside the fact that the movie business has been terrible as of late. Former big name movie stars don't carry as much weight as they used to. Big budget special effects spectacles don't fool audiences anymore, since they see through the lack of story and character. So with everything from redos (A-Team), Tom Cruise (Knight and Day), and Jerry Bruckhiemer (Sorcerers Apprentice and Prince of Persia) failing, what's left for Hollywood to do? Come talk to bypremier...that's what.

So here are some things that need to happen.

1. Cuba Gooding Jr. can't even get a movie role anymore. John Singleton hasn't lived up to the hype of "Boyz N The Hood". They both were at their best in the beginning. Why not bring them back together with a gritty, urban drama. Imagine the marketing possibilities.

2. M. Night Shyamalan is almost a joke now. A one hit (or two hit) wonder who is a one trick pony (slow beginnging...surprise ending). I think he's a talented man who got too much success too quickly and fell into his own massive ego. So what should he do? Go back to the models for the two hits that brought the best out of him. And that's combine his talents with an A-list talent. That's right...did you know, M. Night's two biggest success were "The Sixth Sense" and "Signs", which also happened to be stars Bruce Willis and Mel Gibson's careers highs. And since A-listers, with the exception of Will Smith and Johnny Deep, can't guarantee box office anymore, why not pair M. Night with another "A-lister". I'm thinking someone like a Tom Cruise or even Tom Hanks.

3. Speaking of Will Smith, the man should do another romantic comedy. He was fantastic in "Hitch". Sure, I'd love to see another Sci-fi movie or a "Men in Black 3", but he should also do another "Hitch"-esque film.

4. Stop making comic book movies based on characters that are too niche. "Kick-Ass" was a great movie. But not successful. Others like "Jonah Hex" were just bad decisions. Just because Iron Man 2 worked, doesn't mean every comic book will work.

5. Since nothing is original anymore in Hollywood, follow Christopher Nolan and Quentin Tarantino's lead. Let the talented men do what is 'original'-esque. I say 'original'-esque, because as great as "Inception" and "Inglorious Basterds" were, they were Nolan's and Tarantino's take on other movies. They didn't steal, so much as copy what inspired and moved them and put their own twists and takes on them. And that's how Hollywood does original ideas these days. So let Nolan And Tarantino to continue to do what they do. But also let James Cameron, Ridley Scott, Michael Mann, and Kathryn Bigelow do their thing.

6. Call this the Lebron James factor. Or the "Expendables" Model. Basically, put a dream all-star lineup together in one movie. Give the fans what they want. Fans want to see all the old 80's stars in one movie. Because it's not like the 80's/early 90's when Seagal, Arnold, Sly, Bruce Willis, and Van Damme would all show up in their own action movies and find enormous success, the new millenium doesn't work that way anymore with the advent of CGI and other special F/X. So give Sly credit for thinking of putting everyone in the same movie. But the truth is there are other examples. People were excited when Jackie Chan and Jet Li made a movie together. So why can't this work in a million other ideas. For example:

a. Julia Roberts and Meg Ryan in a romantic comedy. Two of america's former sweethearts together at last. Have it written and directed by Nancy Meyes...even better.

b. You think "The Grown Ups" were an all star comedy lineup. Imagine some combination of Eddie Murphy, Steve Martin, Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, Bill Cosby, Jerry Seinfeld...or throw in Jim Carrey for good measure. Heck, have it be written and directed by Woody Allen. I know what you're saying...didn't Judd Apatow do this with "Funny People". I didn't say it had to be a drama about comics. Just let them be funny as older aged men.

c. Non-caucasian women who have managed to rise up above their races and be seen as able to play any part, not just parts designed for their race/color. I'm thinking Halle Berry for the African Americans, Lucy Liu for the Asian Americans, Eva Mendes for the Latin Americans. Put them into a cross-racial film and the possibilities are endless.

d. How about an all-star cast of true method actors who aren't necessarily box office giants. I'm thinking Russell Crowe, Christian Bale, Edward Norton, Clive Owen, and the best actor alive...Daniel Day Lewis. That would be oscar bait and then some.

e. Just for the heck of it...Harrison Ford and Clint Eastwood in a film together.

f. Heat 2: De Niro, Pacino, Hackman, Hoffman. Make this happen Michael Mann...why not? These heavyweightsw all need one more opportunity to go out on top.

g. Connery, Pierce Brosnon, and Daniel Craig in a spy thriller. You wouldn't see a single article without mentioning James Bond...andI know Connery is retired, but who cares.

7. The Karate Kid remake was a huge success. So why not remake some other beloved, cultish 80's movies...I'm thinking of "The Goonies", but there are probably at least ten others.

8. I'm calling this right now, "Tron: Legacy" is going to be a huge hit. Surprisingly, since Tron was considered a flop. But it was way ahead of it's time. But that would also qualify for other early special F/X flicks that could be re-imagined with the latest special F/X. I'm thinking of "Flight of the Navigator", "Logan's Run", and "Flash Gordon".

9. Raunchy comedies are making a bit of a comeback. Look at "The Hangover" or "Hot Tub Time Machine". Why not comine this fad with the untapped MILF market. "Cougar Town" is a decent hit on TV. Why not copy that mold as a movie in a raunchy comedy. Imagine a Sharon Stone, Michelle Pfieffer, Kim Basinger, or even Jennifer Aniston...in such a movie. Older women would come out and you know the men would too.

Yes, I know imagining the possibilities in movies are easier than making them a reality. There probably aren't scripts or even interests on the parts of any of the named actors/actresses above. But wouldn't you rather see some of this happen and have people put the time and effort into making it real, then to see another crappy romantic comedy, unecessary sequel, or stupid action/revenge flick. I know I would...and maybe that's why I don't work in Hollywood.

Weekly Random Thoughts: 6/18/10

1. In this weeks installment of "Tales from Stall #2"...

After lunch one day, I had to drop a deuce. The regular stall was taken, so I had to go to the handicapped stall.

Sidenote: Does anyone ever worry that one of these days when they occupy the handicapped stall, that an actual handicapped person will come in and need to use it? Wouldn't that be an awkward moment? Do you ask for a few more minutes to finish? Do you hurry up and get the hell out of there as soon as possible? These are things I think of while sitting in the handicapped stall.

Anyway, back to the story. So I'm doing my business and I look down next to me and check out the shoes of the person in the stall next to me. I immediately recognize them as a co-worker of mine. Back to relaxing and trying to do my business...because nobody likes to be stressed while going #2. Out of the corner of my eye, I see something moving. I look back down and to my horror I see, the hugest cockroach I've ever seen. It looked like it was doused in radioactive materials. So the cockroach from the Manhattan Project scampers across the floor in my stall. I lift my legs up off the ground, because I'm legitimately scared of touching the thing. I don't want to stomp on it and get cockroach guts on the bottom of my shoes. Nor do I want it crawling up on me, so I'm trying to finish my business with my legs raised in the air like I'm hiding in the stall and I don't want anybody to see my feet. The whole time, my eyes are glued to the cockroach. I follow as the cockroach makes its way to the other stall and my co-worker yells out, "Holy Shit" and does the same dance that I did (i.e. lifting his feet up off the ground). The cockroach is now pacing back and forth between stalls. It's like the thing knows we don't want any part of it, so it is toying with us. And as the cockroach goes into one stall to another, our feet go up and down like we're in the military doing some weird sort of punishing exercise. A few more minutes of this and it's apparent that neither one of us to kill the thing. So the next time the cockroach leaves my stall; I quickly wipe, flush, and get the heck out of there...I rush to the sink area and wash my hands all while looking back like the cockroach is going to creep up on me like Mike Myers shadow. Then the bathroom doors swing open and in walks the CFO of my company. He makes his way to the urinal, but he stops dead in his tracks. The Hiroshima cockroach has stopped right in front of the stall. My CFO says aloud, "Wow, that's a big one." The two heavyweights engage in a brief staredown as my CFO circles the cockroach...ready to attack. He makes his move and quickly slams his foot down on the cockroach. He looks down towards his foot to investigate the damage, but to his and my surprise...the cockroach is still ALIVE!!! Like a beaten down fighter in the 12th round, the cockroach is dragging half his body back into the stall. My co-worker is still in there and quickly lifts his feet into the air again. My CFO looks at me like this is the superman of cockroaches. He grabs a stack of paper towels and waits for the cockroach to come back out from under the stall. When the cockroach does, he tries to squish it with the paper towels...but the cockroach eludes him. The CFO tries a few more foot stomps, but to no avail. The cockroach has now gained his second wind and is running sprints around the bathroom. My CFO looks at me with a look of confusion and exhaustion. He can't kill the thing. He throws his hands up in the air and says, "This isn't part of my job." He washes his hands, my co-worker now decides to finally leave the stall, and the three of us exit the bathroom like three survivors of a horror movie. Except this time, the survivors didn't win. The enemy is still alive and well. But there will be no sequel...at least for me. Becaue I am never going into that bathroom again.

2. Game seven was one ugly game. It was close and hard fought to the end...but that wasn't good basketball being played. It definitely won't go down as a classic.

I really wanted the Celtics to win too...I'd rather see KG/Pierce/Allen get ring #2, then to see Kobe get ring #5. Now we have to listen to "Is Kobe the best Laker" for the rest of his career...btw, the answer is "No, he's not".

3. Big weekend at the box office as we see the arrival of Toy Story 3. I think this opening is going to be huge, because the movie is rating off the charts. 100% rating on Rotten Tomatoes, 4 stars and A grades in every publication an online website. Throw in the pent up demand...Pixar's track record...and very little competition. Estimated weekend opening = $120mm.

The other movie opening this weekend is Jonah Hex. This movie is going to bomb big time. Demand just is not there and for good reason. The movie is horrible. I caught an early screening and was bored out of my mind. The movie is 80 minutes long and even that was stretching the story. Megan Fox is hardly in the movie. The action is nothing special or memorable, neither are the FX. So while Josh Brolin plays the character pretty well...the rest of the production is a mess. I don't even think this movie is going to make $10mm this weekend. This is going to be another blow to Megan Fox's career (did anybody see "Jennifer's Body?")...what happened, I thought she'd be a huge star for sure.

4. How awesome was the US-Slovenia World Cup match? What a comeback! The goals by Donovan and Bradley were both insane. But that should have been a victory. The ref's took that last goal away for no good reason. I want an explanation damnit.

So now we go to the last game versus Algeria in control of our own destiny. I'm not sure what to expect. The lackluster play that we have shown early in both games...or the stellar attacking play from the second half of the Slovenia game. All I know is, I will be watching and I'm glad that there is still something to get excited for in game three of the World Cup for US soccer.

That's all I have for this weekend. Happy Father's Day to all the father's out there, especially my dad. A great man. Love you dad.

Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend!

Mid Week Randon Thoughts: 6/14/10

I had another funny blog entry that I was going to post today, but it just didn't feel like a good time to post it. I need to wait for a few more readers...otherwise it won't make sense.

So to keep you entertained until that happens...here's an early week Mini-Random Thoughts edition:

1. So the Karate Kid is a bona-fide hit already grossing more than the estimated budget of $40mm. Now you know what that means...we'll be getting a Karate Kid 2.

That got me thinking. How many original non-comic book and non-horror movies that spawned a sequel were remade or reimaged to such rousing success that the redo's spawned their own sequels? I mean take away your 'Batman's'...your 'Halloween's'...'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'...what do you have left? Can't think of many can you?

Well, I did some research and although many remakes/redo's/reimagings (or whatever you want to call them) were done where the original had sequels - see 'Planet of the Apes' and 'Psycho' - you'd be hard pressed to find a non-comic book or non-horror movie that emulates 'The Karate Kid'.

As a matter of fact, I could only find one...keep reading to find the answer below.

2. You ever see or hear something and think to yourself...what a simple, yet brillant idea...then ask yourself, "Why didn't I think of that?".

Well my list goes as follows:

a) A TV show centered around a fantasy football league.

b) A movie about two guys who crash weddings.

c) A rap song names "Whoa".

3. I was in Atlantic City in a casino during the US-England world cup match on Saturday afternoon. I was walking around with my girlfriend, while trying to follow the game on my phone, and I see the Brits score an early goal. The U.S. team is down 1-0 and things aren't looking good. Then sometime around the 40th minute, I just hear a loud roar in the casino.

My girlfriend wondered aloud, "Wow, somebody must have won big."

I said no...I bet it's the soccer game. So I quickly look at my phone and refresh the ESPN webpage...1-1. Yep, that cheer was for Clint Dempsey's goal.

And that's how much people were into the soccer game...

4. Why was I in Atlantic City for the weekend? Well let's just say the girlfriend is a big Backstreet Boys fan and they happened to be performing at the Taj Mahal (The things you do for love). So yours truly and a packed house made up of roughly 85% screaming ladies watched the BSB sing all their classics (Ok, I'll admit it...I'm a fan too). As I looked around, I thought to myself...'the odds here are definitely in a guys favor to pick up some chicks."

Well apparently a group of six other guys thought the same exact thing. They came as a group (not a single female friend among them) and prompty ran around hitting on every chick in the immediate vicinity (and some out of)...while dancing and singing along to the songs like true die-hard fans. Too bad they got kicked out for reasons unknown (being too rowdy? Sneaking into the wrong sections that they didn't pay for?? I don't know).

But seriously, how embarrasing is it to tell people that you not only went to a Backstreet Boys concert ten years after they were famous, but you also got kicked out of a Backstreet boys concert ten years after they were famous.

Anyway, the highlight of the show happened as the restless crowd waited for BSB to come out to the stage. The theater was playing music over the speaker system and the crowd was bored. Then Lady Gaga 'Bad Romance' came on. And the first thing you notice is a blond chick stand up in the lower section (say 15 rows back from the front...it wasn't a big theater) and start performing the dance from the 'Bad Romance' video. It's mildly entertaining and the girl is pretty good. She's memorized the video. She doing her thing. You think she's just going to do a few seconds...maybe a minute. But no...she just keeps going and going. Yep, she's doing the entire song. Slowly, all eyes dart towards her and the fans sitting around her move away so she can slide her way to the middle aisle. Now she has more room to really get into the dance. But she's still only decent-good. Then out of nowhere...a male that can only be described as flamboyant pops out from the upper rows. And in complete sychronicity, the one man Gaga dance show becomes two. And the guy absolutely crushes it. Even I was impressed. Now the whole crowd is really getting into it. People are screaming, clapping, even taking pictures and film. Just as it's getting really good a security guard comes in and puts the kibash on the show. And the crowd boos...it was insane. You really had to be there. It was the highlight of the show. I'm trying to find it on YouTube, but there doesn't seem to be any video of it. But trust me when I say...that dude killed it.

And just to show you that I am a proud BSB fan. Here are my three favorite BSB songs:

a) "All I Have to Give" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZN0SaNiAhvk&feature=channel
b) "I Want It That Way" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fndeDfaWCg
c) "Shape of My Heart" http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dx-hOveXGs

Check back Friday for another blog update...oh yea, and the answer is:

ANSWER: THE PINK PANTHER

Weekly Random Thoughts: 6/11/10

1. How many times does something truly live up to the hype? Think about all those sporting events, movies, vacations, birthdays, dates, sexual experiences…anything that you were looking forward to. Nine times out of ten, you end up disappointed or at least dissatisfied. Which is why Stephen Strasburg is such an incredible story. The man had ridiculous amounts of hype and expectation going into his first major league start. And I joked beforehand, that the only way he could meet they hype and those expectations was if he threw a no-hitter or perfect game. Well seven innings later, two earned runs on four hits (including one home run), and fourteen strikeouts later…dare I say…he surpassed what anyone could have imagined. WOW!!!

I mean how many things actually lived up to the hype?

Off the top of my head…Avatar? The Iphone? LeBron James? Seriously…it’s not a long list.

What happens now will only add to the legend of Stephen Strasburg. All I know is he’s arguably the #1 fantasy player in a keeper league.

2. Is this the weekend that finally excites movie audiences? You have to go back to the first weekend of May, to Iron Man 2, to find a movie that excited audiences and had people lining up outside movie theaters. And to be honest, even that movie wasn’t loved and definitely fell short of expectations. Over a month later and the audiences are sitting around waiting for a movie to spend their money on. They want a crowd pleaser (see ‘Up’, ‘The Hangover’, and ‘Star Trek’ from last year). Could it be ‘The Karate Kid’ or “The A-Team’? I think it might. Both have a chance to do well and make up for a weak May/June slate so far. Early reviews are good (not great). If not this weekend, then soon…there will be one movie that blows past every conceivable expectation. And the movies that are expected to do well - might do even better…because people want to see movies this summer. Just not crap like ‘Robin Hood’, “Prince of Persia’, and ‘Killers’.

Again…off the top of the head. Movies that fall under this category: Toy Story 3, Inception, Twilight: Eclipse, The Last Airbender, The Sorcerer’s Apprentice, and Salt.

3. Right now is a bad time to travel. Flights and hotels are all marked up higher than last year’s prices. Where are the recession specials?

I think it’s just a dirty trick played by the airlines (also not being helped out by the upcoming merger of Delta and Northwest Airlines); because people are flying more…yet, the airlines have not increased seat capacity. Thus allowing them to charge more for airfare. Chalk it up to just another case of supply doesn’t meet demand, so you have to pay more for it.

4. The NBA finals have a chance to be an all time classic. If you were like me, then you just finished watching a thrilling game four. The series is all tied up at two a piece. Home court is thrown out the window…tensions and emotions are at an all time high (I predict a fight happening soon – or at least an ejection)…and each game features a surprise hero (Game two it was Ray Allen, game three it was Derek Fisher, game four it was ‘Big Baby’ David). I honestly have no idea what to expect for game five. But I do believe this series will be going seven and be a fixture on NBA classics for years to come.

5. Who’s excited for World Cup? I know I am. For the first time ever, I’ve read up on the teams. I know the players by name (and more importantly…the WAG’s). And I’m genuinely interested in the games. Seeing the passion that people feel for the game makes me wish people in this country appreciated soccer more. It is the global game. Of course it would help if the US team were better.

Unfortunately, I won’t be able to catch the US vs. England match on Saturday. I have plans…

6. Bathroom story of the week:

In this week’s ‘Tales for the Stall #2’.

You know how you go to sporting events or family friendly restaurants and you see children using the urinals, except they haven’t quite mastered the unzip and pee routine, so they drop trou (lower one’s pants to one’s ankles) and go pee. Well the other day, I saw someone at work do this. And there was just something wrong about seeing a middle aged man with his pants down to his ankles, in tighty whities, standing there with his dress shirt hanging out…and taking a piss. I mean I’m all for not wrinkling your shirt, but you don’t place wrinkle free over pissing so people can’t see you ass.

7. In sad economic news, the ESPN Zone in Times Square will be closing down on Tuesday. This was a frequent meeting spot for me and my college buddies and I’m sad to see it go. I might have to make one more visit before they shut the doors and close the lights.

That’s all for this week folks. Thanks for reading. Have a great weekend!!!

Summer Movie Preview: June 2010

So May has come to an end and this has to go down as one of the most disappointing May's in summer box office history. Every movie that came out underwhelmed. We already saw two box office bombs. Three more box office disappointments. And not a single well reviewed major movie.

Let's recap quickly (check out my May movie preview at http://bypremier.blogspot.com/2010/05/2010-summer-movie-preview-may.html.)

I predicted Iron Man 2 to do huge business. It did well opening weekend, but $128mm was still below expectations. It's done over $277mm so far, but looks to come in just around the $318mm the first one made. Everyone thought the sequel would make more than the first one, but audiences were not too pleased with the second one. Hopefully, the third one can rediscover the greatness of the first entry.

Robin Hood did OK business, but won't make more than the Kevin Costner version. This will be another blow to the box office clout of Russell Crowe.

If any movie exceeded expectations, it was Letters from Juliet. The romantic movie will finish will a good $45-50mm. Amanda Seyfried will be a huge star if she keeps this up (she was in Mamma Mia and Dear John). Who would have thought when Mean Girls came out, that Lindsay Lohan would be the third biggest star of the movie (following Rachel McAdams and Seyfried).

Just Wright and McGruber came and went in the blink of an eye. Neither made much of a dent at the box office and will go on to enjoy a nice run on DVD. McGruber was especially a huge flop, not even making back its estimated $10mm budget. It may have single-handedly killed any hope of future SNL skit to screen movies.

Shrek 4 also did decent business, but easily came in as the worst performing in the franchise. Sure it'll be the #1 movie two weekends in a row, but...

...that's because Sex and the City 2 and Prince of Persia both came up short at the box office. It's clear that audiences were not screaming for a second Sex and the City movie, when the first one wrapped things up perfectly. Audiences were also not screaming for Jake Gyllenhall as an action hero. SATC 2 will make over $!00mm, but come up far short of the first entry. Prince of Persia won't even make $100mm, and won't even 50% of the estimated $150mm budget. There goes Jake's franchise hopes.

Let's hope June has more to offer...I know the movie studios and theaters hope so:

JUNE 2010:

Get Him to the Greek: A chance to qualify under #4 and #8.

Starring: Jonah Hill, Russell Brand, and P. Diddy

This movie has an outside chance to be this summer’s breakout comedy hit. A sequel of sorts to “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” (in the way that “Evan Almighty” was a sequel to “Bruce Almighty”), “Greek” takes the rocker Aldris Snow from the first movie and makes him the star. The red band trailer looks partially funny, but I expect a lot more crazy stuff to happen in the movie. The star here will be Brand (aka Katy Perry’s lucky boyfriend) and he could put himself on another level if this movie finds much success. However, his humor also has the ability to turn lots of people off with its brashness and outrageousness. Expect a final gross in the $50-55mm final gross matching “Sarah Marshall’s” total.

Pros: A star making turn for Russell Brand?

Cons: “Forgetting Sarah Marshall” wasn't exactly the biggest hit and didn't really cry out for sequel. Also, too raunchy to be a breakout hit?

Killers: A chance to qualify under #5 and #9.

Starring: Katherine Heigl, Ashton Kutcher, and Tom Selleck.

Directed by: Robert Luketic

People are comparing this movie to "Mr. and Mrs. Smith", but it looks like a more PG version of "True Lies". Except no James Cameron and no Arnold. Plus, Kutcher is no Brad Pitt or Arnold. So in my opinion, this movie lies squarely on the shoulders of Heigl. Since "Grey's Anatomy" and "Knocked Up", Heigl has shown that she can open up a movie by herself (think "27 Dresses" and "The Ugly Truth"). All her films have finished north of $75mm at the box office and I expect "Killers" to do the same.

Pros: Couple friendly concept and stars. Friendly rating. Almost critic proof (see "Bounty Hunter", which will finish with over $60mm at the box office).

Cons: The movie is almost guaranteed to be bad.

Splice: A chance to qualify under #5.

Starring: Adrian Brody and Sarah Polley.

A very interesting horror/suspense movie that combines science and monsters. This has a bit of "Species" mixed in with "Mimic" and I could see it being a breakout hit of sorts as something different during the summer season of bang and boom. The trailers do a good job of adding intrigue while giving you a glimpse of the creature. No name stars might hurt, but I actually think it helps in these types of films (see "District 9"). Stars would only take away from the premise and that is what will sell this film. Expect a straight-to-DVD sequel. Final gross will be a solid $75mm.

Pros: Did I mention the premise?

Cons: These types of movies don't make $100mm (District 9 is the exception).

The A-Team: Qualifies under #2 and #3.

Starring: Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Sharlito Copley, Quinton "Rampage" Jackson, and Jessice Biel.

Directed by: Joe Carnahan

Now this is a movie that I'm really looking forward to. I think the casting is superb. The director's choice is spot on. And this TV show has been screaming for a movie. Now, apparently I don't speak for everyone out there (why is that?). The trailers have been both cool and ridiculous (C'mon, the tank flying in the air). But I think the movie isn't meant to be taken seriously. You come for the famous lines ("I love it when a plan comes together"), the overacting, the action sequences, and the theme song (the whistle part always gets me). This movie will make at least $150mm, but has a chance to top $200mm if the reviews are positive.

Pros: Supposedly one of the coolest action sequences ever. And a possible Mr. T cameo.

Cons: Could it be more "GI Joe" than "Star Trek"?

The Karate Kid: Qualifies under #3

Starring: Jaden Smith, Jackie Chan, and Taraj P. Henson

This movie has set off a firestorm online. Fans of the original movie are in an uproar that their beloved film is being remade with a privileged son of a famous movie star (that would be Will "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air" Smith). Throw in people upset that the movie takes place in China and should factually be known as "The Kung Fu Kid", as well as the Asian population that should be mad that the black kid is clearly going to get the cute little Asian girl at the end of the movie (while kicking the Asian boys ass in a fight) and you can understand why this movie has failure and boycott written all over it. But somewhere between all that madness, people actually started feeling sorry for the movie (kind of like in sports when someone is underrated for so long that they become overrated – see Ben Wallace). Then started the outcry of "Give the movie a chance", "It's actually pretty good", and "Wouldn't you do the same for your son if you could". My prediction, this movie will be a huge hit. The movie will be one of the better reviewed movies of the summer. Jaden Smith will be on his way to super stardom. And the movie will make a ton overseas. It will be this year's Star Trek...put it in the books for $175mm.

Pros: Based on a popular 80's movie and pays proper homage to it. Will reach out to the Asian and African American audiences.

Cons: Still potential for fan backlash. Ralph Macchio might give this movie his blessing, which will actually kill the movie's prospects.

Jonah Hex: Qualifies under #2, #4

Starring: Josh Brolin, Megan Fox, Wil Arnett, and John Malkovich.

Another "based on the comic book/graphic novel" that very few people ever heard of. The backstory on the making of this movie just cries out "bust of the summer" (change of directors, rewrites, Megan Fox's acting)...but then the first trailer came out and I must say I was impressed. Brolin seems tailor made for this role, Fox is her usual sexy self, and the action looks pretty sick. However, it also has a little too much "Wild, Wild, West" in it. I say it bombs, finishing with a box office gross of $50mm (and I really wanted to like this movie. Heck, I’ll probably still go and see it).

Pros: Brolin makes for a better action star than Kutcher. Megan Fox in a corset. Malkovich always kills as the bad guy ("In the Line of Fire" anyone?)

Cons: Bad buzz. Trailers are supposed to look cool, but if they show all the good parts then the movie will suck.

Toy Story 3: Qualifies under #3, #7

Featuring voice by: Tom Hanks and Tim Allen.

One of the few guarantees of the summer. Pixar is can't miss. They are the Jason Heyward/Justin Beiber/child of Tom Brady and Giselle of the movie business. You know exactly what you're going to get. A great movie for all age. Some funny moments. A few touching moments. A great story. And a reason to believe in the beauty of movies again. I can't wait.
But this time the geniuses at Pixar are making it's first ever threequel. And people are starting to express doubt and fear. Doubt that the original ideas are running out. Fear that they are only doing this for the merchandising rights and because Disney demanded it. Well, I say to all those doubters and naysayers...Pixar has given you at least eight reasons why you shouldn't doubt them. And even if it's not as good as the first two, aren't you just a bit glad to see Woody and Buzz one more time. I say it makes $275mm gross.

Pros: Toy Story 1. Toy Story 2. The child in all of us.

Cons: Not many third parts of a franchise are that good. C'mon who am I kidding. There are no cons.

Grown Ups: Qualifies under #8

Starring: Adam Sandler, Chris Rock, Kevin James, David Spade, Rob Schneider, and Salma Hayek.

Directed by: Dennis Dugan

A comedy dream team starring some of the most celebrated and successful SNL alumni. Sandler looks to bounce back after last year's disappointing "Funny People", while the others are just looking to score another big box office hit (sad that Kevin James might be the biggest box office draw out of them all). However, the trailers have yet to make me laugh. Just like the "Funny People" trailers didn't make me laugh. And they keep trying to sell us on the stars (understandably so with this comedy all star lineup) instead of the actual movie. Much like "Funny People" tried to sell us on Apatow. So, I'm not sold on this film. I think it has a chance to be more like "Mr. Deeds" or "Click" than "50 First Dates" or "Big Daddy" on the Adam Sandler scale of greatness. I say this one barely makes $100mm.

Pros: Sandler + Rock + James + Spade + Schneider = Guaranteed to make the teenage and young boys laugh.

Cons: Doesn't it make you wish Chris Farley was there instead of Kevin James. A little too much Salma Hayek in the trailers - not bad if you're a Salma fan, bad if you have hopes of this being a funny movie.

Knight & Day:

Starring: Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz

Directed by: James Mangold

Could this be the movie that reminds us why Cruise was once the biggest movie star in the world? I think it could be. The trailers make me laugh. The action looks slick. Even Diaz comes off at the top of her game. I really think this movie has a chance to garner some good reviews and a pretty box office take. I say it finishes with a $200mm gross.

Pros: Cruise and Diaz are both big box office draws in the right type of film. This is that type of film.

Cons: A corny title. It should have been called Knight & Deay and starred Bobby Knight and Parker Deay.

The Twilight Saga: Eclipse – Qualifies under #3

Starring: Kristin Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, and Dakota Fanning.

Are you ready for more pasty faced vampires and shirtless werewolves? Based on the killer box office figures of the first two Twilight films, I’m going to say yes (yes, yes, a thousand times yes). The trailer for Eclipse recently premiered to rousing fan approval. This one looks like it might actually ramp up the action a bit, which could bring in some non-diehards. However, this movie is now in the Harry Potter realm of franchises. The movies will all see final grosses in the same range (Harry Potter makes $260-300mm domestic, Twilight makes about $290-300mm domestic). This is another one of the summer’s locks. A can’t miss.

Pros: Twi-hards. Team Edward. Team Jacob.

Cons: I still don’t get the appeal. The first two were boring to me and almost tortuous to watch. And I don’t think I’m alone on the front.


Check back at the end of June for my thoughts on July movies.

Weekly Random Thoughts: 5/7/10

1. I went to see Cirque Du Soleil: Ovo last weekend. It was my first time ever seeing a Cique Du Soleil show or visiting Randall’s Island for that matter. I thought it was a very good show. Some really awesome sections and some few slow spots. Either way, I’d highly recommend it unless you’ve seen the other Cirque Du Soleil shows (which I heard once you’ve seen one, you don’t see anything new). Some thoughts/questions:

• a. My first thought when I saw all the performers was of the character Yen in the Oceans movies. I love Ocean’s Eleven.
• b. There was a part where one performer was standing on one hand atop what looked like a mini-staircase without the stairs. It was definitely an impressive showing of balance and strength. But by the fourth time the person was doing it, it got kind of boring. Then again, I can barely stand up on one leg, so who am I to talk.
• c. The six jugglers/twirlers (with the big plastic kiwis and pieces of corn) were one of the highlights of the show. Yet, I kept hoping that one of them would drop the kiwi or the corn. Yes, behind my nice guy act I am a horrible person.
• d. The acrobats (or Robin’s as I like to call them) were cool, but nobody went flying across the entire stage. So I was a little disappointed. That dude Yen from Ocean’s Eleven would have totally went across the stage. Heck, Chris O’Donnell would have too.
• e. The crowd interaction part was very funny. Most people hate being picked out of the audience and made center of attention. I know I do. Actually, I only know one person who loves to be picked for this kind of stuff. His name is Sean McBride…he’s a comedian. Youtube him.
• f. The rock climbing/trampoline section ended the show on a high note.
• g. I wonder how many hours a day these people train?
• h. And I wonder how much the performers get paid?

2. Hugo Weaving has officially been cast as the new villain, Red Skull, in the upcoming Marvel film, The First Avenger: Captain America. If you don’t know who Hugo Weaving is by name, well you definitely know the face or voice. He played Agent Smith in the Matrix trilogy, was the voice of Megatron (not Calvin Johnson, relax Scotty Watts) in the Transformers movies, and was also in the Lord of the Rings trilogy. Since the Matrix premiered in 1999, Weaving has been in 14 movies (most recently “The Wolfman” remake). Those 14 movies have grossed $2.68bn in domestic box office, which averages out to $191.3mm per film (and that’s including 3 low budget movies that made less than $150k each). That’s Will Smith/Tom Hanks/Tom Cruise territory. But of course Weaving would never be referred to as an A-lister (a guy who could open up a movie himself). He’s basically this decade’s Jeff Goldblum. Goldblum, if you remember, was the co-star of such hits in the 1990’s as Jurassic Park, Independence Day, and The Lost World. Goldblum was the go to supporting actor for big budget films and he did it masterfully. As my friend, Jay the comedian would say - I miss Jeff Goldblum.

3. Every summer there are a few songs that tear up the radio waves and become the unofficial summer jam. Last year it was Keri Hilson, Drake, Lady GaGa, and Black Eyed Peas. It’s early, but so far my prediction for the summer jam of 2010 are:

• a. Usher feat. Will.i.am – omg
• b. Travis McCoy feat. Bruno Mars – billionaire
• c. B.O.B. feat Bruno Mars - Nuttin on You (or the new song “Airplanes”)
• d. Other artists with songs coming out soon (I haven’t heard them yet) – Eminem, Katy Perry, T-Pain, Christina Aguilera, Drake, Pitbull, Miley Cyrus, and M.I.A.

4. Some small, low budget indie film called “Iron Man 2” comes out today. Apparently the reviews have been worse than the first one (generally in the C-B/2 star range). And after having some time to digest the movie (I wrote a blog entry about it – you should read it) and reading the reviews, I can see why people think it is only an OK movie. I was probably swayed by the crowd and atmosphere when I saw the early preview. Still worth watching though. It’s a fun movie that is the essence of good popcorn flicks.

5. Last week’s random thoughts recap:

• a. Nightmare makes only $32mm. It’ll be lucky if finishes with $65mm.
• b. Met’s blow the Philly series and show no resiliency. But at least they didn’t get swept.
• c. I was 3-0 in my NBA playoff predictions – Atlanta came back and won games 6 and 7. Utah and L.A. both closed out in game 6.
• d. The answer is that you do not say “Bless You”.
  

6. NFL Draft (rounds 2 – 7) fantasy preview: I did my review of the round one NFL draft and its fantasy impact last week. Well, here are some non-first rounder’s that may have fantasy potential this year.

• a. Dexter McCluster, Chiefs – Probably won’t get many carries behind Jamaal Charles and Thomas Jones, but could see time lined up in the slot. He’s a good pass catcher, but probably won’t get enough looks to warrant drafting (barring injury to Charles/Jones). Then again, he could be Reggie Bush-like.
• b. Jimmy Clausen, Panthers – A good chance to start at some point in the season if Matt Moore fails to produce. Could have a similar first year to Jay Cutler - start by week ten or so, show promise, but ultimately not fantasy worthy unless in keeper leagues.
• c. Toby Gerhart, Vikings – A good downhill runner that grinds the yards out. Expected to take on role left by Chester Taylor, but not an excellent pass catcher. Not sure how he gets carries playing behind Adrian Peterson. Could be a fullback. See Jacob Hester.
• d. Colt McCoy, Browns – Probably won’t see the field this year, but he has a chance to be the best of this year’s QB crop. Has a little Drew Brees in him.
• e. Joe McKnight, Jets – Made Leon Washington expendable. Expect him to be used in change of pace and pass catching situations, but will fight Tomlinson for those. Won’t be fantasy worthy this year, but down the road has a chance to be like Leon.
• f. Jonathan Dwyer, Steelers – Stuck behind Mendenhall, but Pittsburgh has always employed more than one RB (think Mewelde Moore). Dwyer could play a similar role as a change of pace/pass catching back. But Mendenhall will still be the workhorse.
• g. Anthony Dixon, 49ers – Another RB rookie the 49ers hope to relieve some of the workload from Frank Gore. Not sure if Dixon will make much of an impact, but the 49ers do have a solid, rebuilt offensive line. Keep an eye out for him as a late rounder.
• h. Mardy Gilyard, Rams – Has a little DeSean Jackson in him. Could be a threat to break out a long TD catch or run at any moment, but won’t see many catches (hurting value in PPR leagues). Could develop a nice connection with Bradford for years to come.
• i. Ben Tate, Texans – Could immediately step in and be the starting RB for the Texans. In that offense, if he takes the job, he has a chance to be more fantasy relevant than CJ Spiller.
• j. Damian Williams, Titans - Hoping to follow in Kenny Britt’s footsteps as a promising rookie WR for the Titans. But Titans are still a running team and Williams might not garner enough attention to warrant any consideration yet. Could be fantasy worthy toward the end of the season, so keep an eye out.
• k. Jimmy Graham, Saints – a TE prospect that could fit in nicely with the dynamic New Orleans offense. May not be relevant this year, but Shockey won’t be there forever. Could be a stud TE in a few years.
• l. Rob Gronkowski, Patriots – Possibly the answer to New England’s TE problems. But we all know that New England spreads the ball around and TE’s are either hit or miss (see Ben Watson).
• m. Montario Hardesty, Browns – Could be the starting RB for the Browns (they don’t believe in Harrison). Will struggle behind that rebuilding team, but could have some fantasy worth weeks. A decent mid-late round flier with keeper potential.
• n. Golden Tate, Seahawks – This year’s Percy Harvin. A jack of all trades. Expect to see a few wildcat packages – he’ll run, he’ll catch, maybe even pass and return kicks/punts. He’ll be worth a pickup as a WR3.
• o. Arrelious Benn, Buccaneers – Steps into the best situation as a rookie WR, in that he has little competition. Could be the teams #1 WR on day one, which makes him fantasy relevant. But Josh Freeman is still a project and the team will not be known for its passing. A worthy bench player with upside.
  

7. Fantasy baseball update – My team is struggling, mainly because my offense sucks (I’m looking at you Justin Upton). But pitching is starting to come around (wish Grienke or Cliff Lee could actually get a win though). Here are my weekly thoughts:

• a. Tampa Bay has the best pitching staff (Garza, Shields, Price, and Niemann) right now – every one of those guys is top 20 right now.
• b. San Francisco has second best pitching staff (Lincecum, Cain, Zito, and Sanchez) – best in the NL (with St. Louis a close second).
• c. Good to see David Wright turn it around after last year’s disappointing season – 7 HR’s so far (6 on the road) compared to only 10 last year. But he still strikes out too much and that average needs to go up in the .300 range.
• d. Alex Gonzalez is headed for a career year (Toronto can mash). Watch out for David Freese and Tim Stauffer as below the radar guys who are producing.
• e. Worst teams for fantasy players (Baltimore and Pittsburgh). I could only find a handful of guys worth having (Matt Weiters, Adam Jones, Nick Markakis (DL), Andrew McCutchen, and Evan Meek) and none of them are playing that well. At least Kansas City and Seattle have stud pitchers.
• f. Buy low candidates – Jason Bay, Prince Fielder, and Josh Beckett.
  

8. NBA playoffs update:

• a. After two games, only the Boston-Cleveland series is tied. That one could go seven.
• b. I expect San Antonio to win the next two at home. They won’t go down without a fight and they are one of the best teams at making adjustments. This one could go seven too.
• c. Utah doesn’t have enough to take down the Lakers…reminds me of the year’s that the Bulls struggled to beat the Pistons (back in the MJ/Isiah days). Utah will have to figure out how to get over the hump (i.e. The Lakers) in order to take the next step. But Deron is a top ten player right now.
• d. Atlanta doesn’t have enough to compete with Orlando. Magic might have easiest road to the conference finals of anyone (I’d be surprised if they lost more than one game along the way).

9. In this week’s edition of ignorance and intolerance:

• a. I went to the Museum of Natural History a while back. As I’m walking through, I pass by one of the staff members. For no reason, other than the obvious, he stops me to tell me that the Asia history section is on the third floor. Ummm…I wasn’t asking.
• b. Went to Bubba Gump restaurant in Times Square with my girlfriend and another couple. And the first question the hostess and waiter asked us was, “So where you visiting from?” Ummm…Queens!!!

10. Friday Night Lights season four starts tonight on NBC. If you aren't watching this show, then you are missing out on the best TV show on right now. "Clear eyes, full hearts, can't lose"...

Thanks for reading and don't forget to tell your friends.

2010 Summer Movie Preview: May

May is here!!!!! And for all those movie lovers out there, that means one of the two best times of the movie year is arriving (the other being holiday movie season from Thanksgiving to Christmas). That’s right…summer movie season kicks off on May 7th. Now with any summer movie slate, there are certain guarantees.

1. The kickoff weekend will be huge for whichever movie studio claims that weekend (See “Iron Man 2”. 2009 equivalent = “X-Men Origins: Wolverine”).

2. Plenty of big budget, special effects driven movies (See “Prince of Persia”, “The Sorcerers Apprentice” and "The Last Airbender". 2009 equivalent; the aforementioned “Wolverine”, "Transformer 2", "GI Joe", and "Star Trek").

3. Sequels, Threequels, Adaptations, Remakes, and Re-imaging’s galore (See “Iron Man 2”, “Sex and the City 2”, "Twilight Saga: Eclipse", and “A-Team”. 2009 equivalent = “Star Trek”, “Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince”, “GI Joe”, “Angels and Demons”, Terminator Salvation”, and “Transformers 2”).

4. A couple of complete box office disasters (See “Jonah Hex” and “Prince of Persia”. 2009 equivalent “Bruno”, “Funny People”, “Year One” and “Land of the Lost”).

5. A couple of box office surprises (See “Splice” and "The Karate Kid". 2009 equivalent = “District 9).

6. At least one big budget movie will get great reviews and then go on to be a huge crowd favorite and make over $250mm at the box office - thus exceeding expectations (See “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice”. 2009 equivalent = “Star Trek”).

7. One unbelievable Pixar movie (See “Toy Story 3”. 2009 equivalent = “Up”).

8. One comedy that outshines all the others (usually starring Will Ferrell). (See ”The Other Guys”. 2009 equivalent = “The Hangover”)

9. A chick flick that serves as counter programming. (See “Sex and the City 2”, “Eat, Pray, Love”, and “Killers”. 2009 equivalent – “The Proposal”, “Julie and Julia”, “Ghost of Girlfriends Past”, and “The Ugly Truth”)

10. And one epic action movie – usually with a historical setting with a well known legendary figure. (See “Robin Hood”. 2009 equivalent – “Public Enemies”)

11. A family friendly movie, non-Pixar related. (See “Despicable Me” and “Cats and Dogs 2”. 2009 equivalent – “G-Force” and “Ice Age: Dawn of the Dinosaurs”).

12. One low budget indie that gets some Oscar buzz only to fizzle out at awards time. (See “The Kids Are Alright”, “happythankyoumoreplease”, and “Cyrus”. 2009 equivalent – “500 Days of Summer”)

Ok, let’s take a look at what movies will be taking our money and wasting our time:

MAY 2010:

Iron Man 2: Qualifies under #1, #2, and #3 above.
Opens: May 7th, 2010
Starring: Robert Downey Jr., Gwyneth Paltrow, Don Cheadle, Mickey Rourke, Scarlett Johansson, Sam Rockwell, and Samuel L. Jackson.
Directed by: Jon Favreau

Are you ready for this because this is going to be huge? The only question is how huge. Sequels are usually hit or miss. Rarely are they better than the first, but thanks to the pent up demand, the second part usually opens bigger and sees a greater amount of grosses frontloaded. But once in a while, you get a movie that actually builds on the first one. One that is arguably better (see Terminator 2, Aliens, and The Dark Knight) and outgrosses the first one. There is no doubt that the movie is grossing $400mm (it’ll break $150mm on opening weekend). But if it’s as good as the trailers look, then it’ll crack $500mm easily and be the movie to beat for the summer box office crown.

Pros: Huge demand, must see status, awesome trailers, rumors of Captain America and Thor appearances.

Cons: Can it live up to the first one? Iron Man 2 didn’t have much to work off of from the comic book source material – so they had to make up a story based on a lot of different story lines in the comics. Throw in the fact that there are no well known villains, fan outrage over Scarlett Johansson casting, and you could see a semi-Iron Man backlash.

Robin Hood: Qualifies under #3 and #10
Opens: May 14th, 2010
Starring: Russell Crowe, Cate Blanchett, Mark Strong, William Hurt.
Directed by: Ridley Scott

The team that brought you Gladiator brings you a film that will definitely be compared to Gladiator. My initial reaction to the trailers was, “Eh”. After seeing more trailers, my reaction is still “Eh”. I don’t know what to expect - just another sweeping epic with grand fighting scenes along the likes of “The Patriot”, “Kingdom of Heaven”, and “King Arthur” or a movie that tries to tell the true story behind the legend like last summer’s “Public Enemies” (And you know what, Public Enemies was pretty disappointing)? The filmmakers certainly hope that is not the case, since none of those films did extraordinarily well at the box office (and Kingdom of Heaven and King Arthur were bombs). So what does all that mean? Well, the film lies clearly on the shoulders of Russell Crowe and Ridley Scott. And neither is at the heights of their box office pull. Crowe isn’t the same star as he was after Gladiator and A Beautiful Mind. With State of Play bombing, he’s become less and less a draw. And Scott found little success with Body of Lies. Throw in the fact that the movie has to deal with the second weekend of Iron Man 2 and things don’t look so good. This could be the first box office bomb of the summer. I’m going to say it’ll end up with only $75mm gross.

Pros: The team of Crowe and Scott. Huge production values. Guaranteed to have one "F'ing awesome" fight scene involving a sword and/or bow and arrow.

Cons: Trailers that have failed to excite. Crowe at his box office lowest since "Virtuosity".

Letters to Juliet: Qualifies under #9
Opens: May 14th, 2010
Starring: Amanda Seyfried, Vanessa Redgrave, and Gael Garica Bernal.

A romantic comedy looking to serve up some counterprogramming to the big budget films Iron Man 2 and Robin Hood. It'll serve the audience looking for a sweet, romantic movie. Seyfried is an up and coming star (she was recently seen in "Dear John") and has her fans of young girls and even some young guys. Bernal (and his accent) has fans of young and old girls. And Redgrave could pull in some adults. But this movie has a limited potential (think "Leap Year" or "When In Rome") before finding an audience on cable and DVD. Final gross of $25mm.

Pros: The adorable Amanda Seyfried.

Cons: Not much seperates this movie from a thousand other romantic films.

Just Wright: Possibly qualifies under #5
Opens: May 14th, 2010
Starring: Common, Queen Latifah, and Paula Patton.

A romantic comedy starring a popular rapper playing outside his norm, and a popular actress/singer with a larger fan base than you would think. Throw in some basketball (perfect timing during the NBA playoffs) and a large African American cast (a fan base that will come out to support their own, as Tyler Perry has shown), and we could have our first surprising box office success. I could see this doing $40-45mm if it gets decent reviews.

Pros: Latifah has moderate success with these types of films (The Last Holiday - $39mm and Beauty Shop - $36mm). Counterprogramming in a summer full of films that don't cater to the African American audience.

Cons: Common as a basketball player? I guess it makes more sense than Bow Wow or Fredro Starr.


Shrek Forever After: Qualifies under #3.
Opens: May 21st, 2010
Featuring voices by: Mike Myers, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy, Antonio Banderas, and Julie Andrews.

The animated series that is more successful than any Pixar franchise, yet not nearly as beloved (or good), returns for a fourth and (hopefully) final chapter. All the main characters return including the ogre Shrek, Princess Fiona, donkey, Puss N Boots, and the wonderful dragon (Parker’s favorite). Throw in a cute premise with Rumpelstiltskin and this may do better than the last entry in the franchise. However, the third Shrek left a bad taste in people’s mouth and some may have soured on the series. So expect a huge opening, say $90+mm before it finishes out around 270mm (matching the gross of the first Shrek). Of course, the key with any animated movie is the reviews. If it’s good, which I have yet to hear anything special about it (then again, I know nobody in the industry), then it could make a quality $300+mm total.

Pros: The Shrek franchise has made over $1bn at the box office. Plus; it's in 3D, which is all the rage these days.

Cons: The franchise is on its last legs. People weren't exactly screaming for a fourth one after Shrek the Third.

MacGruber: Qualifies under #4
Opens: May 21st, 2010
Starring: Will Forte, Kristin Wiig, Ryan Phillippe, and Val Kilmer

A halfway decent SNL skit was inexplicably turned into a summer action-comedy flick. This one has “A Night at the Roxbury” written all over it. Expect a lot of ridiculous jokes, gross out humor and violence, and some outlandish acting by Kilmer and Forte. The only way this goes beyond the core audience of SNL’ers is if Kilmer give such a crazy performance (which he is entirely capable of) that the movie becomes must see just for him. Either way, I expect it to make a paltry $35mm.

Pros: Kilmer at his craziest. Kristin Wiig always is worth a couple of laughs - she will be starring in movies sooner rather than later.

Cons: SNL skits to screen can be very hit or miss. Is Forte on the same level as Myers or Carvey?

Sex and the City 2: Qualifies under #3 and #9.
Opens: May 27th, 2010
Starring: Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Catrell, Kristin Davis, Chris Noth, and Penelope Cruz.

Women get your Manolo Blaniks and Jimmy Choo’s ready (although I think in the last few years, Christian Louboutin has become the more popular brand), because this movie will feel like a must see and must get dressed up event for all the ladies out there. After the runaway success of the first film, there was no doubt that a sequel would be greenlighted. The only question is will this movie do better than the first? I’m not so sure, since the movie doubtfully picked up any new fans. Basically if you enjoyed the TV shows, then you watched the first movie. So to be quite honest, I expect more of the same. There will be a huge upfront demand, making for a big opening weekend. The movie will end with a solid $150+mm, on par with the original. Why? Because let’s face it. They aren’t breaking new ground with this movie, what you expect is what you’ll get. Still this is the must see movie event for women this summer and I doubt it’ll disappoint.

Pros: All the women who can relate to Carrie, Samantha, Miranda, and Charlotte. All the women who want a Mr. Big in their lives. All the women who loves designer clothes, shoes, and bags. In other words...all the women want to see this.

Cons: Where will the story go? How many times can people put up with the whole Big and Carrie break up or have relationship difficulties storyline, when they know they'll somehow get back together again.

Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time: Qualifies under #2 and arguably #3.
Opens: May 28th, 2010
Starring: Jake Gyllenhaal, Gemma Arterton, Ben Kinsley, and Alfred Molina
Directed by: Mike Newell

The quota for the annual-summer-Jerry-Bruckheimer-produced-film has been met with this action-adventure based on the popular video game. The trailers are exactly what you would expect from a Bruckheimer action film – lots of cool special effects, bad writing, a surprising male lead (who isn’t who’d you’d expect to be starring in this kind of film), and a pretty lady. I am curious to see how the video game translates to the big screen. The scenes with the dagger and sandstorms remind me of “The Scorpion King” to the 100th degree. Yet the trailer still doesn’t amaze me. Opening on Memorial Day weekend, expect a decent first weekend of $50mm before topping out at a shade over $100mm.

Pro: Bruckheimer is at his best in these types of productions. And people doubted Johnny Depp in Pirates of the Carribean...

Cons: Until I see it, I don't buy Jake Gyllenhal as an action star. And the trailers have yet to make me think otherwise. Actually, the trailers looks pretty stupid (even stealing the Mission Impossible 2 line from Anthony Hopkins). Plus, video games to movies are very hit or miss – and I think this one will be a miss.

Check back next week when I preview June's openings.

Weekly Random Thoughts: 4/30/10

1. A nightmare on Elm Street opens up today. I expect it to dominate the box office with a $40mm weekend gross, but expect it to fall quickly and be out of theaters in a month.

2. Next weekend is Iron Man 2. A.K.A. the start of the summer movie season. I can’t wait. And I don’t have to…I got tickets to an early showing on Tuesday night. Lucky me.

3. Big weekend series for the Mets as they face off against the defending NL Champs, Philadelphia. Mets are a half game up in first place and this series will either put to rest all the talk of them being back or reinforce all the talk that they are contenders once again. As a Met fan, all I want is for them to win one game and not get swept. And that’s how sad of a state the Mets fans are in.

4. NBA playoffs have been pretty good so far:
a. The Spurs put down a favored Dallas team with relative ease (becoming only the sixth #7 seed to beat a #2 since the seven game first round series format). Typical San Antonio – coast through the regular season, then turn it on for the playoffs. And another failed season for Nowitzki and Kid.
b. Milwaukee has Atlanta on the ropes without its best big man and behind a rookie PG. John Salmons was a great pickup.
c. Miami failed to even scare Boston, but DWade really showed up in game 4 (otherwise, it would have been a sweep). I expect Wade to leave next year and hope he goes to a contending team that will help him get back to the finals. The guy is my favorite player.
d. OKC is giving the Lakers a difficult time advancing. Lakers will still win in six, but Durant has a chance to be a top two player for years to come and Westbrook is putting himself in the Derrick Rose level of talented, up-and-coming PG’s.
e. Speaking of the Bulls, they just couldn’t keep up with the Lebron Cavaliers. But you can’t fault Rose (or Noah). Both guys really showed up and would make for outstanding compliments to a stud free agent pickup (say Wade or Bosh). If that happens, watch out for the Bulls next year.
f. Jazz are surprising everyone out West and could make it to another finals behind Deron Williams and Carlos Boozer. This series has shown me two things: Jazz only can’t lose Deron – the rest (Okur, Kirilenko) are replaceable. And George Karl is missed dearly on the Nuggets sideline.
g. Suns put down a scrappy Portland team and now are looking at a rematch with the hated Spurs. Who would have thought Jason Richardson was the key to the Suns playoff success.
h. Orlando defeated Charlotte in the most boring first round series. I still don’t see Orlando beating Cleveland if Carter is the go to guy (they miss Turkoglu). And curious to see how Micheal Jordan deals with mediocrity in Charlotte, because sadly only the old MJ could save that team.

5. Looking forward to round two matchups (assuming Atlanta comes back, Utah wins at home, and Lakers put away OKC – and yes I am predicting Atlanta being the only 7 game series in round one).
a. Lakers vs. Jazz: Lakers in six. Deron will keep Utah in it, but won’t have enough help. Kobe will pick his spots and Gasol will outplay Boozer.
b. Spurs vs. Suns: Suns get revenge as Nash and Co. take out their anger over the last time these two teams met (when Robert Horry body checked Nash and got Amare suspended).
c. Cavs vs. Celtics: Cavs put away a feisty Celtics team in seven. Look for a few classic games. Lebron wins a few by himself. Pierce and Ray win a couple on buzzer beaters. But Lebron overcomes the elbow injury and moves full steam ahead to the finals.
d. Hawks vs. Magic: Hawks are too tired after a grueling seven game series. Howard breaks out of his mini-funk with a couple of 20-20 games.

6. Fantasy baseball is almost a month of the way done. Here are my surprises so far:
a. Kelly Johnson and Robinson Cano – The two best fantasy 2B in the game.
b. Paul Konerko – Leading both leagues in homers.
c. Francisco Liriano and Ubaldo Jimenez – the early front runners for the AL and NL Cy Young awards.
d. Matt Capps and Jon Rauch – further proof that you never pay too much for saves.
e. Vernon Wells and Barry Zito – finally playing up to their enormous contracts.
f. Mike Pelfrey and Jorge Cantu – possibly headed for career years.
g. Alex Rodriguez and Hanley Ramirez – both off to slow starts.
h. Matt Weiters and Tommy Hanson – why you never over pay for hyped youngsters.

7. Mini NFL draft fantasy recap:
a. Ryan Matthews – coming into best fantasy situation. Could have a Jonathan Stewart like season.
b. CJ Spiller – most hyped rookie RB comes into the worst fantasy situation. So bad that he could become undervalued. Bills will get rid of Lynch (or even Fred Jackson). And speed combined with skill does have a way of making a fantasy impact (see Chris Johnson, DeSean Jackson, and Devin Hester). Expect a few long TD scores.
c. Jahvid Best – could be similar to Chris Johnson’s rookie season. I could see Kevin Smith playing the part of goal line carrier and limiting Best’s carries. If so, I could see Best excelling as a speed threat with pass catching ability.
d. Dez Bryant – If Roy Williams is cut, then I think Bryant will break the rookie WR curse and have a 1,000 yard and 8 TD season. The difference will be Tony Romo throwing him the ball.
e. Demaryius Thomas – a WR project who won’t make a huge impact this year. He’ll be given the chance to learn and will be good one day. Just not this year.
f. Sam Bradford – Will have his moments, but expect to see final stats along the lines of Matthew Stafford. However, in three or four years we will be looking at a star.
g. Tim Tebow – will score a few TD’s with special offensive packages, but not enough snaps to justify a draft pick.
h. Jermain Gresham – the top rookie TE will have his moments next year (similar to Brandon Pettigrew), but in a couple of years he will become a top tier fantasy TE.

8. Is anybody following some little horror movie called, “The Human Centipede”? Well I don’t want to follow it, but I can’t help it. It’s like watching a train wreck as its happening; I just can’t keep my eyes away. The movie is so sick and twisted, yet it’s also so original. I honestly don’t think I could make myself watch the movie, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to check it out just for curiosity sake.

9. Question? If you are in the bathroom stall at work (doing a #2) and somebody in the stall (also doing a #2) next to you sneezes…do you say, “Bless you”?

10. It’s really hard to think of things to write when you have no general theme. Yet, I’m still making it work.

Butler Didn't Do It

Two chances.

Gordon Hayward had two chances.

And both times, I was certain he would make that game winning basket to send himself and Butler into legendary status.

But it didn't happen.

And that makes me very sad.

Why? It's not because I'm a Butler alum. I'm also not a huge Duke hater. Yet for some reason I wanted nothing more than for Butler to win. Not entirely because it would have been a great story or because they were the underdogs (C'mon who wouldn't love to see those stories). But I wanted it so bad, because if they won then I would have believed the happy endings you see in movies are possible.

The moment the final matchup was set everyone starting making the comparisons to the movie, "Hoosiers". And now that the outcome has been determined, all anyone can say is there was no hollywood movie ending for Butler. Jimmy Chitwood didn't walk through the door that day. Gordon Hayward had a chance to do a Chitwood impression, but it wasn't meant to be. And that's where this story sticks with me the most.

I know that movies are meant for entertainment and an escape from real life. That real life doesn't mirror movie life. But I love movies so much and they mean so much to my life, that I'd be lying if I said I didn't wish that this wasn't the case. I want to exist where the Butler's of the world can win on a last second miracle shot. Because wouldn't that be the world where you can have a meet-cute with the girl (or boy, for the female readers out there) of your dreams on your way to work. That their is love at first sight. And you do get to be the one or the hero at the end.

Now, you can call me naive or say I'm someone who doesn't want to seperate fantasy from reality. But isn't the point of some movies also to provide hope. To find something that moves you to follow or go after your dreams and believe in yourself? And I guess that's why I wish Butler was able to win. So that I could say, "See, sometimes life does imitate art." And that'll give me another moment to hold on to while I try and be the movie star in my own world.

Movies that would have been awesome in 3D

If you've been to the movies in the past four months, then you've most likely watched a movie featuring the next big craze in Hollywood...3D movies.

From Avatar to Alice In Wonderland to How to Train Your Dragon (and even the shamelss 3D showings of Clash of the Titans), the third dimension of film has dominated the box office. And the movie industry is quick to capitalize on this success. Theater chains are hustling to build as many 3D capable screens as possible. And take a look at the upcoming 3D movies on your "must see" slate.

Despicable Me (Does anyone have a clue what this movie is about based on the trailer?)
Piranha 3D (If only Snakes on a Plane could have been made four years later)
Toy Story 3 (Will be awesome in any dimension)
Shrek Forever After (I'd watch it only for the dragon)
Cats vs. Dogs 2 (As much as I hate to admit it, I'll probably watch it and go "Aww" at least four times.)
Tron Legacy (Would the sequel have been greenlighted if 3D wasn't an option?)
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows (getting the Clash of the Titans converted to 3D treatment)
Resident Evil 4 (Keeping Milla Jovivich employed)
Cowboys and Aliens (Anything with Aliens works in 3D)
Zombieland 2 (I can totally see this being slick)
Transformers 3 (Optimus Prime in 3D...ridiculous)
Underworld 4 (Double feature of Resident Evil 4 and Underworld 4...matinee baby)
Spiderman reboot (Look out...it's Spiderman's crotch flying in your face)
Avatar 2 (A total shock)
The Smurfs 3D (Does this mean we'll get an Alvin and the Chipmunks threequel in 3D?)
The Green Lantern (starring Ryan Reynolds) - rumored, but not yet confirmed
Sucker Punch (Zack Snyder's next flick)
Ridley Scott's new Alien film (Two words. In. Sane.)
Step Up 3D (What exactly will be in 3D? The Fox Trot??)
Scream 4 (To be followed by a rush of cheap horror movies made in 3D)

Whew...that's a long list. Now a few things stick out for me as I read this list:

1. A lot of sequels. It's like the 3D technology revived a whole bunch of stagnant franchises.
2. A wonderful way to use 3D for the third feature in said franchse. The 3 is already there.
3. Only a handful will truly be worth paying the extra money for to watch in that extra dimension.

But if you follow the movie industry, you know all this already. This future of 3D has been beaten to death, which is why I got to thinking about the past. As in what movies from our personal favorites would have been awesome to see in 3D?
So without further ado, here's my list grouped into four categories: The obvious, the classics, Sci-fi flicks (because no genre was made for 3D more than science fiction), Action movies with weapons (that would be enchanced in 3D), and a couple of my own surprises.

THE OBVIOUS:
1. Any of the Star Wars movies. Just imagine the light sabers popping out at you in 3D.
2. Titanic - you could probably put any James Cameron film here. The guy had been dreaming of making Avatar for about 15 years. You think it didn't pop into his head when he was making Titantic?
3. Any Pixar Movie - Toy Story, The Incredibles, Wall-E. Actually, I'm glad 3D didn't ruin these beloved movies.
4. Any disaster movie - Armageddon, Deep Impact, 2012, Poseiden, Towering Inferno. You get the point. Special effects and things blowing up were made to be shown in 3D.

THE CLASSICS:
1. North by Northwest - Just for the plane sequence alone.
2. Wizard of Oz - Only missed it by 70 years.
3. Singin In The Rain - Raindrops and splashing all in 3D. Count me in. Musicals actually lend themselves to 3D quite well.
4. The Birds - the thought of all those birds flying in my face would scare the crap out of me.

SCI-FI:
1. The Matrix - Bullet time in 3D...I think I just swallowed the red pill.
2. ET - ET Phone home in the third dimension.
3. 2001: A Space Odyssey - just for the flashforwards and backwards in time.
4. A Clockwork Orange - Kubrick would have loved 3D (I think).
5. Blade Runner - If there were a 3D, I fear how much more time Ridley Scott would have spent on making this film.
6. Godzilla - Just to see the monster in 3D would be pretty sick.
7. Independence Day - Aliens would work well in 3D. So would blowing shit up.
8. 2012 - Because blowing up 90% is getting boring to watch in plain old 2D.
9. Back to the Future - Marty, we have to go back. Back in 3D!!!

ACTION MOVIES WITH WEAPONS:
1. Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves - Bows and arrows were made to be shown in slow mo and in 3D.
2. Braveheart - I think Mel Gibson weilding an ax would work in 3D.
3. Gladiator - Russell Crowe would have kicked ass in 3D.
4. Sin City - I believe the sequel (if it ever gets made) will be made in 3D.
5. 300 - Those abs would have been bursting out in 3D.

MY TWO SURPRISES:
1. Ghostbusters. Three things worth seeing in 3D: The Streams, Slimer, and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.
2. Basic Instinct. Admit it; the beginning and the ice pick would be pretty cool in 3D.

What do you all think? Feel free to add any others you think I missed.

Until then, see you all at the movies. Can't wait for when they actually can go back in time and convert movies into 3D. You know it's going to happen. And it'll make a ton of money...

From Paris With Love

One of the most deceptive action movie title ever...

When I told my co-workers I was attending the New York premiere for this movie and taking my girlfriend, they all thought I was some romantic sweetheart. Well, I am...but this is not that kind of movie.

The action movie stars John Travolta (if Vincent Vega had eaten Tony Manero), the dude (Jonathan Rhys-Meyers) from the Showtime original production, "The Tudors" (although I remember him more for being the fourth MI5 agent in Mission Impossible 3 and another celebrity with a sex addiction), and directed by Pierre Morel (the guy who directed "Taken", not 'Transporter 3"...so don't get your hopes up).

Anyhow, the premiere is what you would expect. Just a giant suckfest for all the people involved and behind the film. Seriously, I bet "Gigli and Daddy Day Care 2" received standing ovations during their premiere's. But for the suckers like me, it's just a reason to wait outside in the cold to try and secure a seat. In my case, I secured a front row seat...and a neck cramp. The premiere was supposed to start at 7:30, but Travolta was late. So in his place to make the fans act like paparrazi was none other than Wolverine. Probably one of the nicest guys in movies. He just kept politely saying, "OK folks. Please take your seats, the movie's about to start." Did anybody listen...of course not. People kept snapping pictures, trying to grab an autograph, and screaming to their friends, "Yo, I got a picture with Wolverine." I kept waiting for Hugh to jump out of his seat and protract his adamantium claws, maybe rip off his shirt and growl or roar. But no, those kind of things only happen in origin films. So after Hugh Jackman was escorted away by security, we only had to wait another 45 minutes before Travlota decided to two step his way into the theater.

No public addresss though from Chili Palmer, only from Pierre Morel. Pierre seemed like a nice guy. While thanking the audience, he said all that was needed to be said about the movie as a whole.

"I like to make my movie very compact."

That should be the tagline for "From Paris With Love". Compact action scenes. Compact story. I won't bother going into further detail about the movie. Basically, if you enjoyed Transporter 2 and 3 (or the lesser seen District B13), then you'll enjoy this movie. Travolta has a great role, one that makes the character have no flaws and always comes out on the winning end of every fight, conversation, argument, thought, and action. No wonder why he decided to play this role (that and the huge ass paycheck he got). But I just wanted to say three things about the experience/movie.

1. During the opening credits, the crowd went crazy (clapping, shouting as if this were a sporting event) when the names popped up. The biggest roar went for Travolta, Rhys-Meyers, and Morel. But the other actors and actresses got a small roar as well. But that was only from their entourage, family, or agents. I thought that was funny. But apparently it wasn't funny to some guy sitting next to me. He thought it was stupid. So his response. Cheer and clap for every credit afterwards. I mean every credit...cinematographer, casting by, executive producer, you get the point. He didn't stop until the very beginning when they flashed an Audi product placement into the film. That was when his lady friend put the kibash on his unfunny antics. I love it when that kind of stuff doesn't happen to me.

2. Travolta absolutely puts shame to one of his most classic lines. If you've seen the trailer, you know what I'm talking about. If not, let's just say it has to do with Pulp Fiction. Quentin Tarantino's head must have exploded when he saw/heard this.

3. What I loved best about this movie is the senseless use of what I like to call "The Specialist action scene". For those of you not old enough to know, there was a 1994 movie starring Sylvester Stallone and Sharon Stone called (yep, you guessed it), "The Specialist". The movie is ridiculous and over the top, but there was a great scene in the movie where Stallone is riding on the bus. He sees a pregnant woman standing and gives up his seat. Only there are some street thugs on the bus who decide to mess with her. So he does the only logical thing. He beats the crap out of them, culminating in throwing one thug out the back window. It's pointless, has nothing to do with the story, but it shows that Stallone is a badass. Well I thought Hollywood had decided that this was poor screenwriting, but I guess the writer of "From Paris with Love" never got that memo. Terrible scene.

So why would I go through all this trouble to watch a movie and experience a premiere to just bitch about it? Well, I won two free tickets and thought I was some sort of VIP. And that's why I'm the sucker. Somebody beat me up for no apparent reason. Just picture me sitting on a bus picking on pregnant women...