From Paris With Love

One of the most deceptive action movie title ever...

When I told my co-workers I was attending the New York premiere for this movie and taking my girlfriend, they all thought I was some romantic sweetheart. Well, I am...but this is not that kind of movie.

The action movie stars John Travolta (if Vincent Vega had eaten Tony Manero), the dude (Jonathan Rhys-Meyers) from the Showtime original production, "The Tudors" (although I remember him more for being the fourth MI5 agent in Mission Impossible 3 and another celebrity with a sex addiction), and directed by Pierre Morel (the guy who directed "Taken", not 'Transporter 3"...so don't get your hopes up).

Anyhow, the premiere is what you would expect. Just a giant suckfest for all the people involved and behind the film. Seriously, I bet "Gigli and Daddy Day Care 2" received standing ovations during their premiere's. But for the suckers like me, it's just a reason to wait outside in the cold to try and secure a seat. In my case, I secured a front row seat...and a neck cramp. The premiere was supposed to start at 7:30, but Travolta was late. So in his place to make the fans act like paparrazi was none other than Wolverine. Probably one of the nicest guys in movies. He just kept politely saying, "OK folks. Please take your seats, the movie's about to start." Did anybody listen...of course not. People kept snapping pictures, trying to grab an autograph, and screaming to their friends, "Yo, I got a picture with Wolverine." I kept waiting for Hugh to jump out of his seat and protract his adamantium claws, maybe rip off his shirt and growl or roar. But no, those kind of things only happen in origin films. So after Hugh Jackman was escorted away by security, we only had to wait another 45 minutes before Travlota decided to two step his way into the theater.

No public addresss though from Chili Palmer, only from Pierre Morel. Pierre seemed like a nice guy. While thanking the audience, he said all that was needed to be said about the movie as a whole.

"I like to make my movie very compact."

That should be the tagline for "From Paris With Love". Compact action scenes. Compact story. I won't bother going into further detail about the movie. Basically, if you enjoyed Transporter 2 and 3 (or the lesser seen District B13), then you'll enjoy this movie. Travolta has a great role, one that makes the character have no flaws and always comes out on the winning end of every fight, conversation, argument, thought, and action. No wonder why he decided to play this role (that and the huge ass paycheck he got). But I just wanted to say three things about the experience/movie.

1. During the opening credits, the crowd went crazy (clapping, shouting as if this were a sporting event) when the names popped up. The biggest roar went for Travolta, Rhys-Meyers, and Morel. But the other actors and actresses got a small roar as well. But that was only from their entourage, family, or agents. I thought that was funny. But apparently it wasn't funny to some guy sitting next to me. He thought it was stupid. So his response. Cheer and clap for every credit afterwards. I mean every credit...cinematographer, casting by, executive producer, you get the point. He didn't stop until the very beginning when they flashed an Audi product placement into the film. That was when his lady friend put the kibash on his unfunny antics. I love it when that kind of stuff doesn't happen to me.

2. Travolta absolutely puts shame to one of his most classic lines. If you've seen the trailer, you know what I'm talking about. If not, let's just say it has to do with Pulp Fiction. Quentin Tarantino's head must have exploded when he saw/heard this.

3. What I loved best about this movie is the senseless use of what I like to call "The Specialist action scene". For those of you not old enough to know, there was a 1994 movie starring Sylvester Stallone and Sharon Stone called (yep, you guessed it), "The Specialist". The movie is ridiculous and over the top, but there was a great scene in the movie where Stallone is riding on the bus. He sees a pregnant woman standing and gives up his seat. Only there are some street thugs on the bus who decide to mess with her. So he does the only logical thing. He beats the crap out of them, culminating in throwing one thug out the back window. It's pointless, has nothing to do with the story, but it shows that Stallone is a badass. Well I thought Hollywood had decided that this was poor screenwriting, but I guess the writer of "From Paris with Love" never got that memo. Terrible scene.

So why would I go through all this trouble to watch a movie and experience a premiere to just bitch about it? Well, I won two free tickets and thought I was some sort of VIP. And that's why I'm the sucker. Somebody beat me up for no apparent reason. Just picture me sitting on a bus picking on pregnant women...