Why I Belong In the Movie Business

The buzz and hype following "Inception", which for the most part has lived up the expectations, has cast aside the fact that the movie business has been terrible as of late. Former big name movie stars don't carry as much weight as they used to. Big budget special effects spectacles don't fool audiences anymore, since they see through the lack of story and character. So with everything from redos (A-Team), Tom Cruise (Knight and Day), and Jerry Bruckhiemer (Sorcerers Apprentice and Prince of Persia) failing, what's left for Hollywood to do? Come talk to bypremier...that's what.

So here are some things that need to happen.

1. Cuba Gooding Jr. can't even get a movie role anymore. John Singleton hasn't lived up to the hype of "Boyz N The Hood". They both were at their best in the beginning. Why not bring them back together with a gritty, urban drama. Imagine the marketing possibilities.

2. M. Night Shyamalan is almost a joke now. A one hit (or two hit) wonder who is a one trick pony (slow beginnging...surprise ending). I think he's a talented man who got too much success too quickly and fell into his own massive ego. So what should he do? Go back to the models for the two hits that brought the best out of him. And that's combine his talents with an A-list talent. That's right...did you know, M. Night's two biggest success were "The Sixth Sense" and "Signs", which also happened to be stars Bruce Willis and Mel Gibson's careers highs. And since A-listers, with the exception of Will Smith and Johnny Deep, can't guarantee box office anymore, why not pair M. Night with another "A-lister". I'm thinking someone like a Tom Cruise or even Tom Hanks.

3. Speaking of Will Smith, the man should do another romantic comedy. He was fantastic in "Hitch". Sure, I'd love to see another Sci-fi movie or a "Men in Black 3", but he should also do another "Hitch"-esque film.

4. Stop making comic book movies based on characters that are too niche. "Kick-Ass" was a great movie. But not successful. Others like "Jonah Hex" were just bad decisions. Just because Iron Man 2 worked, doesn't mean every comic book will work.

5. Since nothing is original anymore in Hollywood, follow Christopher Nolan and Quentin Tarantino's lead. Let the talented men do what is 'original'-esque. I say 'original'-esque, because as great as "Inception" and "Inglorious Basterds" were, they were Nolan's and Tarantino's take on other movies. They didn't steal, so much as copy what inspired and moved them and put their own twists and takes on them. And that's how Hollywood does original ideas these days. So let Nolan And Tarantino to continue to do what they do. But also let James Cameron, Ridley Scott, Michael Mann, and Kathryn Bigelow do their thing.

6. Call this the Lebron James factor. Or the "Expendables" Model. Basically, put a dream all-star lineup together in one movie. Give the fans what they want. Fans want to see all the old 80's stars in one movie. Because it's not like the 80's/early 90's when Seagal, Arnold, Sly, Bruce Willis, and Van Damme would all show up in their own action movies and find enormous success, the new millenium doesn't work that way anymore with the advent of CGI and other special F/X. So give Sly credit for thinking of putting everyone in the same movie. But the truth is there are other examples. People were excited when Jackie Chan and Jet Li made a movie together. So why can't this work in a million other ideas. For example:

a. Julia Roberts and Meg Ryan in a romantic comedy. Two of america's former sweethearts together at last. Have it written and directed by Nancy Meyes...even better.

b. You think "The Grown Ups" were an all star comedy lineup. Imagine some combination of Eddie Murphy, Steve Martin, Bill Murray, Chevy Chase, Bill Cosby, Jerry Seinfeld...or throw in Jim Carrey for good measure. Heck, have it be written and directed by Woody Allen. I know what you're saying...didn't Judd Apatow do this with "Funny People". I didn't say it had to be a drama about comics. Just let them be funny as older aged men.

c. Non-caucasian women who have managed to rise up above their races and be seen as able to play any part, not just parts designed for their race/color. I'm thinking Halle Berry for the African Americans, Lucy Liu for the Asian Americans, Eva Mendes for the Latin Americans. Put them into a cross-racial film and the possibilities are endless.

d. How about an all-star cast of true method actors who aren't necessarily box office giants. I'm thinking Russell Crowe, Christian Bale, Edward Norton, Clive Owen, and the best actor alive...Daniel Day Lewis. That would be oscar bait and then some.

e. Just for the heck of it...Harrison Ford and Clint Eastwood in a film together.

f. Heat 2: De Niro, Pacino, Hackman, Hoffman. Make this happen Michael Mann...why not? These heavyweightsw all need one more opportunity to go out on top.

g. Connery, Pierce Brosnon, and Daniel Craig in a spy thriller. You wouldn't see a single article without mentioning James Bond...andI know Connery is retired, but who cares.

7. The Karate Kid remake was a huge success. So why not remake some other beloved, cultish 80's movies...I'm thinking of "The Goonies", but there are probably at least ten others.

8. I'm calling this right now, "Tron: Legacy" is going to be a huge hit. Surprisingly, since Tron was considered a flop. But it was way ahead of it's time. But that would also qualify for other early special F/X flicks that could be re-imagined with the latest special F/X. I'm thinking of "Flight of the Navigator", "Logan's Run", and "Flash Gordon".

9. Raunchy comedies are making a bit of a comeback. Look at "The Hangover" or "Hot Tub Time Machine". Why not comine this fad with the untapped MILF market. "Cougar Town" is a decent hit on TV. Why not copy that mold as a movie in a raunchy comedy. Imagine a Sharon Stone, Michelle Pfieffer, Kim Basinger, or even Jennifer Aniston...in such a movie. Older women would come out and you know the men would too.

Yes, I know imagining the possibilities in movies are easier than making them a reality. There probably aren't scripts or even interests on the parts of any of the named actors/actresses above. But wouldn't you rather see some of this happen and have people put the time and effort into making it real, then to see another crappy romantic comedy, unecessary sequel, or stupid action/revenge flick. I know I would...and maybe that's why I don't work in Hollywood.