The Invention of Random Thoughts

For the loyal ten readers out there, by now you have probably noticed that every week I write a column called "Weekly Random Thoughts". Now despite popular belief, I did not invent random thoughts. The true story behind the invention of random thoughts is a complex and fascinating story:

It all began in the olden days of yore. There once lived an important and well known man named Sir Jonathan Bartholomew Rand (known to his friends as simply "Rand"). He was a man of stellar upbringings with a very important position within the community. Yet, he was not the brightest man. Nor was he the most eloquent speaker. Often times, mostly during pressing issues and other important matters, people in the town would ask him, "Rand, what are your thoughts?". But he would always reply, "Um". It became such a common occurance that many would joke that "Rand has um thoughts". As the years passed, the legend of Sir Jonathan Bartholomew Rand grew and the phrase, "Rand has um thoughts", became a popular saying for anyone that didn't know how to respond to a question. With the invention of slang, this became "Rand um thoughts" for short. Then with the invention of accents (thus causing mispronouciation), "Rand um thoughts" became "Random thoughts". With the advent of ESL classes, "Random thoughts" became defined as "the act or product of thinking in a haphazard way".

And that is how random thoughts was invented.

You won't learn that in Dave Allocco's History class. You're welcome.