It’s almost that time of the year. Fantasy football season baby!! In a month or so, the 2010 fantasy football magazines will start appearing at a newsstand near you. So prepare for lots of rankings, sleepers, busts, keepers, and my personal favorite…the experts guide on how to win your league. And as a so-called expert (I have finished last, 12th, 10th, 6th twice, 3rd, and 2nd in my fantasy football league), I get this question asked to me all the time. So without further ado, here’s my guide on how to win your FF league.
1. Find a group of 9-13 people who think football is that sport with the World Cup. If they don’t speak English, even better.
2. Anoint yourself treasurer of said league. Collect “fees” upfront.
3. Set up a date and time to do a live draft – preferably at an abandoned building or warehouse.
4. Find your old fantasy football magazines (preferably ones with Shaun Alexander, LaDanian Tomlinson, Priest Holmes, or Ahman Green on the cover). Give them out to your fellow league members as prep material.
5. Buy a draft board without the named stickers – instead buy blank stickers so you have to write in the names yourself. That way there is no confusion when someone can’t find that Jerry Rice sticker.
6. Hire scantily clad females to walk around during your live draft - thus distracting your fellow league members.
7. After each one of your league members makes a pick - say sarcastically, “Wow, that’s a great pick.” For example. With the first pick, Rich picks “Shaun Alexander”. You reply, “Wow, that’s a great pick”.
8. Wish everyone good luck. Change your phone number, email address, and move.
9. Repeat steps 1-8 above.
8 years ago
If only it came with a trophy, too
ReplyDeleteGood point. The trophy can be for show. As could a draft book and a website.
ReplyDelete